I am Thankful For My Disappointments.

I am thankful for my disappointment, because they help me to know the things that matter to me most.

I got so disappointed today, I felt so betrayed, and so grieved about it. It was almost shocking to me how my heart reacted to the situation. I felt it so deeply, it took everything in me to dis-identify with the hurt I felt. It was hard to find a the silver lining or the lesson I was being shown. I keep telling myself, whenever I get shook about some thing, that nothing matters that much. It had been working, but this struggle, came specifically to test that theory, that nothing matters that much.

I came across a blog that remimded me to be thankful for the here and now and be present. Don’t let past things get me down or be disturbed by them. It listed all the things I can be thankful for right now, there were 60 things. Like, running water, a roof over my head, clothing,  food, the people in my life, my access to the internet to be able to read such things and it also listed struggles and disappointments and that’s when it clicked for me. I can be thankful for my disappointments because it means that there are things that do matter to me, things that I value.

I realize now, and this is one of the lessons I just learned is that, yes, there are things that matter to me that much. Honesty and integrity matters to me that much. The ability to see and appreciate when someone is trying. Consideration, respect, those things matter to me that much. And when those things are twisted in the slightest I realize again, just how much these thing matter to me. 

Disappointment the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.

My hopes or expectations were not so unrealistic in my mind. But as the old saying goes… “you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.” Same thing as you can lead a person with respect and integrity but you cannot expect them show that same respect and integrity back. The lesson in this is to take full responsibility. Responsibility for your expectations.  I would say to still hold high expectations  but when disappointments come be able to recognize that we must take the great along with the bad. Let disappointment show you the lesson and learn from it and grow because of it. Every challenge is and oppertunity to be better.

I can be disappointed, and I can grow wiser because of it.

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