You know one of those things you know to be true but you never fully realize it or appreciate it for its benefits?
That’s the realization I have had more recently. I have always known that our emotions are there for us to learn from but not to the depth of the understanding I know now.
Negative emotions are for our learning. They teach us what we want and what we don’t want but so much more then that they teach us about ourselves how we perseve the situations we are in. Coupled with the power of choice. We have the power to choose the out come by our reactions. Sound complicated? It’s not at all.
Tony Robins in one of his life choacing recordings gave 6 easy peasy steps to help us deal with our negative emotions. Not to suppress them or set them aside. Not to even discredit our own negative emotion but to validate them as learning tools.
- Ask your self what are you really feeling… anger? No really… why are you angry? What about this situation made you angry. Think about it and be honest when you ask yourself what are you really feeling. Could it be hurt? Instead? Or lose? Because anger is a secondary emotion it’s more like a reaction to something else.
- Acknowledge and appreciate this feeling, don’t push it down or ignore it but acknowledge that I obviously feel this way because there is something I need to learn here. This negative emotion has a valuable message for you. You just need to learn to see the message. The answers are inside of you, you just have to ask.
- Get extremely inquisitive. When a traumatic experience takes place most of the time you find yourself asking two main questions. How? and Why? How did this occur? And why did this take place. Make it a habit to deliberately ask ourselves these questions how and why every oppertunity you get, because they are important in getting to the lesson. It could be that maybe I have to change my perception, maybe I have to change my actions.
- Be assured you can deal. Think of another time when you were faced with the same or similar problems and how you dealt with it then, because if you have been able to deal with it before you can deal with it now.
- Get certian that you can handle anything like that in the future. Run the scenario with these steps you learned here, over and over in your mind until you are assured you can handle it the next time your face with any problem.
- Do something. Take the necessary actions that will help you change the scenario so you don’t have to feel bad any more. Weather it’s to change your perception. The way in which you are experiencing this thing, or what it means to you. Or change your actions; the way in which you approached this senerio in the future.
When we go to the source of out negative feeling we can often find the reason we feel this way. Is it unfulfilled expectations? Maybe we shouldn’t be to hard on ourselves or others. It’s not about micromanaging life, it’s about living it whatever it throws at you. Is it hurt or ultimately fear? Then be more prepared but remember if you have done your best you have done your best. And that’s not an excuse to cop out really do your best. We always have the oppertunity to learn and do better.