Day 19 Evaluate Your Commitments…

I have always, my whole life been a people pleaser. Although it is always nice to be kind, one of the draw backs of being overly kind is getting yourself committed to things that are really, actually such a drudgery. You end up being roped into or committed to things that each time your there, you find yourself asking. Why in the hell am I here?

The first task for today is to write out roughly what your typical week looks like. All the obligations that you are suddenly “required” to do. Or if your like me and keep a bullet journal go back to one of your typical “busiest weekly spread” and evaluate all that you did that week.

I listened to a podcast not to long ago, the guest was Amber Rae a well know life coach, artist and author of the book “Choose Wonder over Worry.” She said at the end of the day she puts a letter next to each task she had on her to do list. J for joy, N for neutral and D for Draining. She said that way she know what tasks gave her great joy, which ones were just neutral, mundane tasks and what tasks just drained her. It made her more aware to avoid the things that drained her. And incorporate more of what sparked her up.

Following this tip, I found as bad as it sounds, it was mostly the obligations that were based around having to deal with people was what drained me but not all people. Because the things I did with my like minded family and friends sparked me up. So I realized there has to be balance. The family and friend part is gravely the smaller tasks in my life. So, I purposed to cull some of the draining things from my week and add in more face timing, inspirational texting and spend time scheduling with those in my life who add more value.

This is where Day 16’s what lights you up list comes in handy. Intentionally replace what you can of the drudgery in your live with the things that add value to you or if it’s not that easy. Balance it out. If you find yourself during the dreaded walking the neighborhood dogs tasks reaching for your phone, go ahead and text someone you love.

Keeping in mind that life is what we make it. Use the skills you know about changing your perspective and create the vibe and the ambiance that you want to be in. If this means saying no to some things or disobligating your self from some things that add no value to your life, then do so. Because no amount of pleasing people wil give you the self care or self love that we inherently require, only you can give yourself self care.

Photo credit unsplash

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