A New Agreement

This week I sort of speed read through the book The Four Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz. I like to read books twice so that I can grasp the full meaning of what the author is trying to convey. This book would be considered self help or a spiritual growth genre of book.

In alot of self help or self development books I see the same theme, pretty much that we each as individuals experience life from our own perspective or dream as Don calls it. This perspective may be tainted by experiance or the programming we received from our parents or those who shaped our lives in our up bringing.

In life you make certain agreements as to weather you believe what you’ve been told or not. When we were children we didn’t have the choice but to agree with those we trusted or those closest to us. I’ve seen it many times in life where someone’s childhood or up bringing was worse the you could even imagine, but The person was able to come out of there personal hell and change there life for the better. Maybe even helping others change. These people made a new agreement. They made the agreement to make peace with the past but not be defined by it. In fact they made the agreement to do things today while it’s still called today that there future selves will thank them for.

One of the most powerful statements made in this book was that words can cast a spell on you. Funny, because, when we here the word spell we think of out of this world wizardry or magic or witches and warlocks. But, just a word spoken, places just right in a person’s mind can change the entire course of there lives.

When we insult or belittle or blame or gossip. We can be speaking spell binding words. If someone said to you “are you really wearing that?” How many times have you actually second guessed what you were wearing. I’m sure every time. While we need others to give us constructive criticism to encourage us to be our best selves. When we speak words of hate or negativity to each other were actually casting a spell on that person that they might carry through the rest of their life. Like “I’m not enough.” We’ve all thought it before, if we have ever felt envious, we’ve thought it. We agreed with that though and lived a life of trying to please, maybe ourselves or maybe others or both. So who cast that spell on you? A spell of influence, making you believe that you are less than. That’s why we should never use or words to hurt, but always use or words toward love.

“Choose to never put someone else in a situation that you would feel uncomfortable in, for your own personal gain”

Ted Talk Speaker-

To break these spells is to make a new agreement with yourself to love and forgive. Most of us live out of fear. Fear of rejection, or fear for our lives. That’s the way society has trained us, very competitive for fear of failure or fear of someone else taking our prize. These things have tainted our ability to be considerate, and compassionate. If we all function in a world like this one of the only ways to be free of this is to forgive.

Forgive those in your path who have wronged you or hurt you, for they know not what the do. But once you know better it’s up to you to do better.

I really enjoyed this book to add to my store house of knowledge. It’s a reminder to be present and intentionally about all you do. We can only do our best, but let our best be the best. No more no less.


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