Quoting from the book The Subtle Art of not Giving A F*$@ by Mark Manson
“The desire for more positive experience is it’s self a negative experience.
The acceptance of negative experience is itself a positive experiance.
The more you persue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become. Pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.”
This is not to say if you want something you shouldn’t work toward it or you shouldn’t peruse it. Remember the thing you do give a care about you should put your 100% in to doing that thing.
However, this quote in particular is like the lost key theory. Ever lost your keys or something similar and tore your house apart looking for it?
Then you finally give up and stop looking for it. But, the moment you give up, its almost like you become inspired to lift the exact paper that it’s hiding under. As if something was guiding you directly to it?
Or it appears right under your nose and you think to yourself “if it was a snake, it would have bit me.”
Same thing for joy and contentment. We search for it some times franticly like those lost keys. Searching under every unturned rock but for some reason not able to find it. Or we never find it exactly how we want it.
As for the consept of accepting negative experiences as being a positive experiance simply means that if we change the way we experience a not so wonderful experience, into a tool or a learning lesson we can reap so much from .
Patience, forbearance, information, resilience, the ability to stand quietly in the “bad” knowing the wonderful is yet to come.
Another powerful statement from this book is that if we change or perspective during our harder times life throws at us we then suffer with more compassion.
A person can only attain this if you are able to be self critical. Self awareness with truth. Everyday won’t be sunny and grand. So be truthful with yourself on those darker days, accept that this is were you are right now, currently.
Don’t search so hard for a way out of the bad stuff. Sit there for a minute and be open to learning something new.
Ever stewed in your bad day feeling bad that your having a bad day? Try considering this bad day. What took place today? Did you act like someone you didn’t want to be? Probably.
But instead of hating yourself for it. Be honest; yes I did that. Make your apologies to whom you have to, even if it’s yourself and just don’t do that again. That’s it let it go. Be easy.
This is for when you feeling low let yourself feel it because it’s necessary. So that you can appreciate the highs that are inevitable to come. Look at it that way take the pressure off your self and others and life, by inspiration and some natural draw.. will be that much more fulfilling.