Recently I was in a conversation with a dear friend of mine and she said something that hit me in a profound way.
What she said is something you hear all the time, but sometimes things resonate deeper than they ever did or than they have before.
She simply said “if you don’t have respect for yourself, no one will respect you.” Mind blown!
I realize now though, why my mine was blown because it wasn’t the obvious conversation about acting badly toward someone and regretting it. Or feeling ashamed of your actions. We were just talking about every day interactions.
Now, I looked up the word respect, I mean; this is how much this statement impacted me. Respect in the Dictionary.com means;
1. a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
2. due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.
It went on to list:
As some of the synonyms of this word.
Think about how often we actively put these words to use in our lives…like I mean toward ourselves. Yes, self admiration may sound a bit haughty but not in an arrogant kind of way at all. Self praise or appreciation is not a “prideful” thing.
Being able to see and regard ones own achievements is the ability to value yourself. If you could see your worth why wouldn’t you put your all in everything you do. Do your best and respect that, admire that, value that, consider that.
It’s easy to consider others, maybe even too much. But what about our own feelings, desires, and rights? Careful concern for ourselves.
I say all this to say that when we put into practise attentiveness to ourselves. Like- I can respect the fact that I do self sacrifice my own will to be in service to others. I can regard that highly about myself.
I can stop being hard on myself and give myself courtesy to feel what I’m feeling and deal with it in a thoughtful way.
I can value my words because when I open my mouth I do my best not to hurt or harm with what I say.
That act of self love will be evident to others and they won’t be able to help but to value you as well.